How many of us grew up with helicopter parents? Religious parents? Anxious parents?
If growing up the recipe to keep a peaceful environment in your house was of that of you not being your full quirky self, chances are as an adult you “seek permission” from others when faced with a decision.
Either you ask a lot of people for input, get filled with endless anxiety, or seek multiple tarot and intuitive readers for answers.
You look for someone to tell you what to do because you weren’t taught to trust yourself and your own intuitive prompts. You find making a decision to be almost detrimental because growing up getting it wrong meant punishment. It meant lack of love. The prospect of a wrong choice may feel like you’re going to tip over your survival. Almost death.
Love for you was compliance. Love for you was submission. Love for you was giving your power away.
It’s okay. This can be turned around. You can recalibrate your somatic nervous system.
Healing from this takes small steps. I often given my clients “homework”. Note every single time you honor yourself. You make a decision and follow through. Celebrate it. Feel it. If making a decision in that moment is too much, give yourself the chance to step back and say “I don’t need to choose right now, but I trust myself to approach this again soon”. Honor how you feel by acknowledging that all these very human emotions are there. If you can remind yourself that the anxiety is just a learned behavior, trauma trying to heal it will subside. The key to making a decision is, does your heart open up when you think about it after the initial somatic symptoms subside, or do you feel a huge pit in your stomach. Literally ask yourself out loud “if I do this….” and pay attention as to where in your body you feel things. Your body is your greatest tool and symbol to cut through the muck and tap into your intuition.
The thing is, there is no such thing as a wrong choice. It’s best to decide and get it “wrong” than it is to forego making a decision(which is a decision unto itself) which is a form of giving your power away and then you’re faced with powerless situations. It is what you chose. Or my favorite, you get a huge tower moment and everything falls apart. Wrong doesn’t really happen in the context of your soul. Whatever you decide either brings you closer or somewhat delays what you want or are working for, but either way you get there.
Delays are blessings. Delays give us the chance to get into that energetic space more comfortably. It allows for us to be aware of our own expansion so we can better accommodate when the physical manifestations show up.
We have the freedom to get it wrong. As the Reverend from the local UU (Unitarian Universalist Congregation) often says “we are saved from perfection.”
Think of the freedom this is. We get to be HUMAN.
PS: if any tarot, spiritual, religious, guru leader or person of sorts ever tells you what to do, takes away your choice, or doesn’t turn things back to you with love, run, run fast, and don’t stop. We offer data. We channel. We point. What you choose to do with said information is up to you as it should be. That is the free will that exists. That is your power. We are simply tools. Anything that creates any form of dependency isn’t for the highest good.